Laxmi being ‘Fuyi’

5 May

Always Dramatic

For a year now, I have dreamt of a little dream and funnily enough I have never been brave enough to actually work on it. Self-doubt takes over every time. But recently I came across an artist I fell in love with her work, and she’s not the only one. I went and browsed through their profiles and artwork thinking, why do I find it hard? It’s just them in cute colors, cute poses, being relatable to us all. How can something so simple, feel so difficult. I pondered over it so much I ended up feeling not good enough., though it wasn’t me comparing to other artists, just the feeling that I cannot do what they do. Make sense?

The feeling consumed me for the longest time. But I wasn’t trying to be someone else, nor was I copying someone’s idea or style. I have my own version though it keeps fluctuating but at least it’s mine I thought.

Funny how something can inspire you yet make you feel like you cannot do it.
And that was me.. all the time. Yeah, it get’s exhausting to feel that way.

Until one day.. sitting and watching a movie with my husband, long-distance .. as I scribbled on my iPad. Thinking about the wonderful artists around the world who illustrate in their own characters.. and started creating, and I created my first version. (That’s for another day, it’s a grown up version…)

and then, from there I was like.. let me try a cuter mini version. At first I genuinely thought I can’t., so I gave up. But then I came to it and drew again, that constant thought inside my head.. I can’t do it. I made it go away with this. A little. Work in progress I think. Haha.. but I can tell you I have never been prouder.

I think, this is going to be a wonderful start to my mini version journey.
Are you excited for me too?